I don’t do well with good bye. That fear of abandonment at my core tortures me. Pick up my phone and instinctually start writing a text to him then realizing I shouldn’t send it. The sadness that comes over me… So overbearing I can hardly see the screen through the tears.
If he cared he would have text me by now. I refuse to reach out. It’s always my hand reaching out. Not this time. I know he’s going through things… If he wanted me in his life I would be. I have to keep telling myself not to contact him. No contact is fucking hard for me. I miss him dearly. I hope he’s thinking of me too. I hope he continues to do so for years as I’m sure he will hold a part of my heart for years to come. Letting go isn’t my forte. I need to learn.