Thoughts are my enemy 

So I am an extremely jealous girlfriend. It’s a problem. I know it stems from my own insecurities something that I’m working on but there is something about me that just attracts emotionally unavailable people or people that are so private it comes off as secretive which drives me crazy as curiosity is one of my strongest characteristics. I’m a curious individual I want to know everything. I want to see everything. I want to experience everything. My therapist asked me to write down my values. Inclusivity. I want to be included I want to belong. Every relationship I’ve been in I feel like I was outside looking in. My last relationship … Two years almost parents and I never met his parents. One before didn’t have good relationship with his parents so I understood but at least the chance was given. In all my relationships friends were rarely shared. Loads of secrets. With my last love … He knew my entire family including my father whom no other man in my life had ever met. I feel like he was ashamed of me. That really messed up my self esteem. Before I knew it … Resentment grew. Now I see that resentment only poisons me. So I let it go. It was just so messed up in so many ways one thing I can see is light at the end of this dark painful existence. The opportunity to start anew. No more hiding I have borderline I’m difficult as fuck at times but the bright times will only get brighter if you accept me as I am because I’m doing the best I’m capable of doing. I CANT WAIT FOR DBT☺️

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