I want someone who understands that I truly don’t have control. Someone who can keep in mind that I didn’t choose to be this way. I lash out most when I hurt most. All ever wanted was a hug. I wanted you to care that I was suffering. I want a man who can’t sleep if I’m suffering. I got one that tuned me out. Masochistic woman I’ve become. Now I must rebuild what’s left of my self esteem.