Living like a blindfolded race car driver.

You know it’s dangerous. anticipating the smash and hoping no pain comes when it does. Sounds destructive doesn’t it? This is how I felt I lived my life up until two years ago. I didn’t want to know. I didn’t want to feel. I didn’t want to live. 

A good friend reminded me of this time today when she said “if I keep busy I won’t have time to be depressed or lonely”. I care deeply for this friend and winced at the thought of the pain she is sure to feel later once she is no longer busy enough to keep her mind off of coping with the inner turmoil that has lingered all along . They never go away. Not until you allow yourself to feel the feelings that come along with them.  Every one has their processes and I respect them but this is one I see most often. This is one I know the best because I too ran from my demons. I suffered more because I’d lost so much time running. I hope she won’t waste as much time running as I have. 

I’ve also noticed how much people who run from emotion resent hearing about self help methods for coping😔 makes me so sad for them. Even if they choose a different way I hope they do just that…. Choose a different way. Can’t expect results from a method that’s failed you time and time again 


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