For the fear of REJECTION

Rejection. Can drive one to bend over backwards and act as if that’s what you do for all. It can even drive a mother to emotionally wound her own child. Fear in one can be contagious perhaps even hereditary. Tragic truth for me. I’ve been a terrible parent in the past. I had no clue what I was doing and I was so unbelievably self absorbed that I didn’t even take the time to consider learning a better way. Fortunately, that phase in my life is in the past although truthfully it does reappear every now and then. Certain situations tend to trigger me and make me go in atomic defense mode. Pride will slowly but surely eat away at those relationships dearest to you it most certainly has for me. I’ve lost many relationships(romantic, professional, familiar, friendship, you name it) to my stubborn desire to appear as if I don’t care or deliberately say mean elitist judgmental comments to make them feel small. I did it so much that I actually got to a point where I felt like I was emotionally bleeding to death.

Looked around

Burned bridges

Only to find I’ve burnt every bridge I’ve ever crossed. Luckily some of the bridges are built very well and survived my fires.

I love my family and friends. I don’t thank them enough.

One thought on “For the fear of REJECTION

  1. I love what you are posting here.
    for the longest time i have been wanting to start my own blog.
    I see a parallel between you and me.
    I have an addiction not to drugs but to the need to be wanted.
    I will find an impulsive thought that drives me to want a sexual experience. I too am promiscuous but yet i understand that it is a need that fill a void i cant grasp of where the origin is

    Like

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