Rejection. Can drive one to bend over backwards and act as if that’s what you do for all. It can even drive a mother to emotionally wound her own child. Fear in one can be contagious perhaps even hereditary. Tragic truth for me. I’ve been a terrible parent in the past. I had no clue what I was doing and I was so unbelievably self absorbed that I didn’t even take the time to consider learning a better way. Fortunately, that phase in my life is in the past although truthfully it does reappear every now and then. Certain situations tend to trigger me and make me go in atomic defense mode. Pride will slowly but surely eat away at those relationships dearest to you it most certainly has for me. I’ve lost many relationships(romantic, professional, familiar, friendship, you name it) to my stubborn desire to appear as if I don’t care or deliberately say mean elitist judgmental comments to make them feel small. I did it so much that I actually got to a point where I felt like I was emotionally bleeding to death.
Only to find I’ve burnt every bridge I’ve ever crossed. Luckily some of the bridges are built very well and survived my fires.
I love my family and friends. I don’t thank them enough.