I come from a long line of addiction. I’d have to say that addictions and poor mental health and/or arrogance are just about the only consistent things amongst my family. Now let’s not get ahead of ourselves here. I know you’re thinking “this broad is blaming her family next!!! heard this before.” Bear with me while I attempt to elaborate on my point.
I decided psychology is the answer. The holy grail of all of my issues. Being the obsession driven intellectual being I tend to be most of the time. My plan seemed flawless. I’d just love, live, breathe, dream, and just short of drown myself in psychology and all that I can find on that fascinating subject. Go to school and fix myself in the meantime. Everyone wins right? Wrong. Help yourself first.
This is where my family went wrong. We were always taught take care of family and friends especially children before you even consider thinking of helping yourself. Self care is made out to be self centered. Having emotions is made out to be wrong or even worse laughed at for being ridiculous. I discovered today. I am no narcissist. I am addicted to love and romance. And all those emotions that my family ridiculed me for were not a result of me attempting to get attention it was a result of my co dependence, extreme empathic feelings towards those I love, and just full on fucking rage and sorrow.