My Revival

October was a month filled with sorrow and pain. Unbeknownst to me, that sorrow and pain would lead to the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I discovered how resilient I can be. I discovered that I am blessed and I have so much to be grateful for. All it took was one swift kick in the ass to discover it. Looking back now… I needed that pain to become who I am now. I needed that pain to appreciate what I have now. I stared that pain in the eye it doesn’t consume me anymore. Not even close. It doesn’t phase me…

It’s gone.

Don’t get me wrong I do have my BpD moments when it shows it’s face but it no longer scares me. It’s been three months and I’ve only had two episodes. Self care and love is an amazing thing.

Words can’t describe how much I love the one who once was a complete stranger who sat across from me. He saved me by teaching me how to save myself. He knew I needed help when no one else did. I was headed towards emotional and likely physical death… he saw it when no one else could. He convinced me I was capable of doing the things I want. He convinced me I could live again. He revived me. 

My guardian angel.

I have never been so happy.

Ghost closure

So my last boyfriend totally ghosted me. Took me out to dinner said he’d text did once and then disappeared. I can’t put into words how much being left like that hurts. I couldn’t believe after 3 years fighting for us he could let go that way. It took a bit for me to accept that perhaps he didn’t love me the way I thought he did. I’ve accepted that but at times I still find it hard to believe that this would happen to me. I thought he was mine. Anywho, I was having a hard time getting closure. He obviously wasn’t going to give it to me so I gave it to myself. I wrote our love story on an old light memento I took from his old place I named Le Closet I took it before it was demolished. We fell in love in le closet so it was special to me. Writing the story was hard but in the end I felt good. I learned a good lesson. I vowed to never ghost anyone that’s just a horrible thing to do I’d rather give who ever the truth . I believe it’s not only courtesy but it’s having human decency. We are human beings with feelings and I’d like to treat people as such. I will never do what he did to me. Ever.

Fake it til you make it

I truly believe I was in a relationship with a sociopath. What was left of me after him… for lack of better words he left me utterly destroyed. My self esteem now is no where like it used to be. Now men lust after me and I’m left wondering how they could be crazy enough to want me. I now tell myself that my ex doesn’t define my worth. He really doesn’t. He neglected me and failed to see the beauty in me. He lost out on what could have been the love of his life. I was so devoted to him it’s pathetic. Now when men call me beautiful I fake it til I make it.

Be silk NOT burlap

So you agree to meet all details sorted out donation secure all systems go. 

I usually start with small talk see how he responds … some do well… some do not. You want to be more kinesthetic with those who don’t do well with small talk or you will get *crickets* 

Flirt but don’t over do it. Make eye contact. Touch his arm or his leg as you laugh if he says something funny or witty. Laugh even if he’s not that funny or witty. Subtly of course don’t over do it. Guys love smiles. Show him he can make your night. That’s what he wants to see. He wants to make you happy… well most do. 

We all know people have all kinds of preferences when it comes to the bedroom. Some men like to please. Others like to be pleased. Some like both while others want it served roughly. Some like butt play while others like costumes. Some like water sports while others like role play. The list goes on and on. So how do we feel all this shit out?!šŸ˜Ÿ

Simple. 

You ask. 

Tell me about your fantasies. 

Tell him yours. 

As he tells you sneak a kiss on his neck. Then the magic begins. 

The Ropes

Sorry no bondage story for you… yet. 

This is just my way. My technique to a successful session . I assume everyone has that little radar in them that helps them feel another person out. Whether it works well or not … is a whole other topic I can bring up later. 

This can also be used in a casual sex situation. But here’s how the pros do it. 

You email. Chit chat get a feel for the guy. What do you do. Get and give all the details blah blah blah. 

Rule number one escorts sell their time and time only. Personally I didn’t even acknowledge the money in my opinion it kills the vibe of that time spent.  It’s a donation … best to treat it as such. It’s friendlier. Should someone short you …never meet again it’s that simple. No use in wasting your time or energy getting angry over money. There’s more out there.

I usually would only meet guys with stellar ratings. I was a fortunate one who was spoiled with gifts and wine. I had some true gentlemen walk through my doors. I enjoyed every minute of it. 

Best thing to be learned is never discussing nitty gritty and money. That’s soliciting. That’s not what I was paid for. I was paid to have the time of my life.

Casual lovers look for your tips in next posting it’s best to break this down into parts.

Hot Topic ModelĀ 

Was what I looked like when I first stepped in the escort world. I had no clue how to act but I faked it. Yeah I knew how to perform as I was promiscuous before but this was a different ball game. I had to be a dirty behind closed doors but refined at a glance. My dutch man was the one who took my pro cherry. He was a true gentleman. Brought me good wine. I drank it all. He always brought me a bottle. He and I saw each other a lot. Sex was ok only thing I can’t not mention is what a bear of a man this man was. Word of advice… lube or petroleum jelly the pubic bone on him to reduce friction that way you don’t burn like you’re fucking a scouring Brillo pad. 

Teleophobic sex fiend

I am probably one of the most sexual beings I’ve ever seen or known. Some view being “sexperienced” as something shameful or bad. No shame or guilt here. I hold my head up high or as high as I have to to get the angle right. I love sex. 

I love the feel of a man’s embrace. I throughly enjoy the fruits of his laborious thrusts. I smile at the thought of his sensual lips on mine that bring involuntary quivers down my spine all the way down to my feet. From the sensual to the downright dirty I’ve experienced them all. As a former professional I had an opportunity to experience from all walks of life. Some pleasant, some weird, some downright dirty. I did it all with a smile on my face. I wouldn’t change my life for the world. I was a fantasy for hundreds of men and women. I love it. Now I’d like to share some of my stories.